So fucking tired right now...both literally and in every other fucking way. I feel like I need to sleep another 10 hours. But I can't because I'll start thinking about all my fucked up problems. Mainly the asshole who lives in the same house that I do. Yes, my mom's boyfriend Humberto..I've written about this dickhead before becuase he's always providing problems in my life. How nice.
I don't know what to do anymore..I had a job interview today and I royally fucked that up because I could'nt concetrate. I could'nt focus on it..I just could'nt. Perhaps most people can easily forget about their problems when they step out the dooor and put on a happy face. I CAN'T! I can't fake happiness no matter how hard I try. I geuss you could see this as a flaw. I don't give a fuck anymore..it's just who I am. The way I see it is it means I don't wanna deal with other people's bullshit an have stupid ass fights every fucking day. I want to live in peace and quiet! Is that too much to ask for? Is it much to ask for to not be insulted at home? To be abused?
Just this morning Mr.Nice-Guy (sarcasm) started screeching about how I left dirty dishes (I was gonna wash but not with him around to say nice things as I did it) and he said such sweet nothings such as I'm a bloodsucker. I know it's taken awhile for me to get y shit together but he has a huge share in the blame for that. Believe me I DON'T want to live in Toronto especially not with him. But I've had no choice due to the shitty financial situation...yeah, fuck the recession. If it was up to me I would have my own apartment in Vancouver by now. But life has'nt gone right for me as always. If anything good comes out of all this bullshit, it'll be the extra motivation to get the hell outta here ASAP. Wish me luck.
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