An Open Letter To Women

"I am different, not less."

Temple Grandin

Note: This is NOT directed to anyone in paticuluar, so do not take it personally, thank you.

First of all, I hope you had a Happy Women's Day.

Second of all, I hope that you are concious that there is still a lot of work to be done. Women still earn 20% less then men, they own less then 10% of the wealth, women are still suffering from domestic and sexual violence on a daily basis, etc. etc.

There is also another problem which rarely gets mentioned...the fact that women are complete bitches to other women. There is no other way of saying it, I'm not going to mince words..women are vicious, abusive cunts to each other and I'm still trying to understand why. I don't understand why after we leave fucking high school we still treat each other like we're in there competing for the cute boy or the best grades or whatever dumb shit girls compete over. I've seen it in every possible workplace from the office to the daycare centre. I just don't get it! Why are female managers such cunts to their female co-workers? What is the point of that? Why are they trying to keep their fellow women down? Is is really to their advantage to be the ONLY woman in a position of power at the workplace? I think not, I think they do themselves a disservice because try as they may they will NEVER be a part of the old boys club.

Trust me, I went to film school which was a sausage fest. There were 3 other girls besides me..the girls NEVER even talked to each other. The guys got together in groups and started working together on their films. They treated the girls in the class as invisible, we had no opinion or idea that was worthwhile to them. We were excluded from these boy clubs and we did not build our own alternative club..stupid. What a waste of opportunity.

I've grown up with only brothers and I see how different their friendships are..they truly support each other, they are there for each other when it's needed, they co-operate to make their projects happen, they are loyal and never worry that their pals are going to turn on them one day for no reason whatsoever. Which is the complete opposite of my experience with female friendships..I'm always worried that they will stab me in the back any day of the week. Because of all my shitty experiences I can not help but be paranoid. I have had "friends" talk shit about me all fucking day on an online forum, attack me physically, spread rumours, insult me, steal from me, turn away from me when I most needed their support. And this is the shit that I'm willing to write down here. It's hard for me to grasp why I was the target of so much aggresion and hatred. I can only chalk it up to jealousy..after all, as a teen and young adult I was extremely thin (naturally NOT cuase of an eating disorder to all the shit talkers out there) and since weight is important to most women I can only assume that had something to do with it. I also know that I'm socially awkward and intelligent which is not a combination that makes you popular as a female, not even with other females. In fact I once overheard roommates and their friends talking about me and a guy was telling a girl there that she only hated me because I was more intelligent then them. I was shocked to hear it at the time, but now it makes sense..more sense then other explanations anyway.

I truly hope that one day women will learn to co-operate with each other. I hope that one day women will work on film projects together the way guys do. I don't see that happening anytime soon. I'm not going to waste my time and breath trying to recruit other girls to do something like this. I realize it's a waste of time now. I should'nt even mention that while I worked on my music documentary I met so many bitches that gave me shitty looks and catty comments when I tried to interview a certain band. Dear bands, leave your petty, catty bitchy, girlfriends at home instead of bringing them to the interview. Thank you.

Excuse me, but I'm just sick and tired of all this bullshit. I truly wish sometimes, that I was born a guy so I wouldn't have to deal with this shit. I could've had the same healthy friendships my brothers have. It's a shame that I don't have that simply because I'm female. So women and girls if you have an once of compassion, just a tiny bit of empathy think about this seriously and CHANGE. Men can not and will not do all the work for us. If we want to get into male dominated industries and careers then we as women have to HELP each other to achieve that.

And let's make our friendships REAL FRIENDSHIPS where we actually listen to each other, give each other support, and most importantly DO NOT JUDGE each other. Everyone makes mistakes right? So learn to truly forgive and forget! Stop wasting time by remembering stupid shit that was said years ago. I may or may not have meant to offend you..probably not actually. I just say things and sometimes you misinterpet the meaning of my words so do not take it personally!!! Ask me what I meant to say! Listen! Think and then come to your conclusions. Do not jump to conclusions right away, that is just a stupid,short-sighted way to live. Let's learn from the guys and be a bit more relaxed about things.There's no need to judge right away or start insulting someone becuase they're a bit different from you. Live and let live.

"and god help you if you are an ugly girl

course too pretty is also your doom

cause everyone harbors a secret hatred

for the prettiest girl in the room

and god help you if you are a phoenix

and you dare to rise up from the ash

a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy

while you are just flying past

i'm not trying to give my life meaning

by demeaning you

and i would like to state for the record

i did everything that i could do

i'm not saying that i'm a saint

i just don't want to live that way

no, i will never be a saint

but i will always say

squint your eyes and look closer

i'm not between you and your ambition

i am a poster girl with no poster

i am thirty-two flavors and then some

and i'm beyond your peripheral vision

so you might want to turn your head

cause someday you might find you're starving

and eating all of the words you said"

Ani Di Franco